Chaos and mayhem in The Riddle Mansion
by Venefica Riddle
Summary: What is the everyday life in The Riddle Mansion like? The secret life of Voldemort, is it special, or is it ordinary? This is some random stories from the everyday life in The Riddle Mansion. Rated M for language.
1. An Itroduction

An introduction.

I'm Venefica Riddle, and I am Voldemort's, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle, wife. I'm going to use this place as a journal of sort. Here I will write and tell about our family life, and about all of the strange things that happen in the Riddle household. It will be updated regularly and irregularly. So do not hold your breath! Or maybe that's what you should do?

My dear husband Voldemort is just Voldemort. Evil incarnated, bless him! Severus Tobias Snape is our teenage foster son. Brooding and sour, just as the grown-up version. Why is he a teenager? Harry Bloody Potter, of course! Lilith Tuesday is our daughter. And she is really her father's daughter. And I suppose that would say it all…

And there are of course all the Deatheaters. Some are smarter than others, and the other way around.. Entertaining anyway!

Tataa, peasants!


	2. Secrets Oh, so hush hush

The Dark Lord Voldemort, my dearest husband, have started to drink.

.

Should I be angry?

Maybe I should feel dejected?

Or should I just feel defeated?

.

Merlin! How can I compete with a bottle's beguiling form and dark golden alluring content? What on earth can I do? How can I seduce my Lord back to me? All he's doing is to shuts himself in his den. Nobody's allowed to enter. This is happening from early afternoon until after midnight. It's been months now.

He has almost forgotten our passion. The thrill we have when we are together. The screams, the begging, the rush of adrenalin, the smell of blood.

He won't torture muggles with me anymore.

He doesn't want the Deatheaters or others to know about his drinking habits. He don't want them to know that he's finding satisfaction in something that the muggles have made. So he is hiding the evidences. Everywhere! And drinks when nobody's around. Well, he thinks is secretly.. Pity the soul who comes over him while he sits with his bottle and snifter of crystal! Many a Death Eater have experienced the painful way that it is very unfortunate. His wrath is tremendous! He threatens them to keep quiet. And they do. And he belives that I don't know anything at all... Bless him! But the Deatheaters respect me, so they reports to me. Every time. May be they are more afraid of me. And they should be. Behind every crazy maniac man, stands an even more insane woman..

It might come to the point that he must choose..

But there is a great probability that Voldemort, my dark lord, my beloved, will probably never forsake his Coca Cola.

Well. I find a way to get him back. Even if I have to destroy every bottle or soft drink factory.


	3. Like a fat cat on the mat

Like a fat cat on the mat.

..

If you ingest to much sugar, then you can get fat. Even a stupid muggle would know that. And that should not be a problem for a wizard. With all the spells and potions, we got, it shouldn't be, normally. But for My Beloved Dark Lord Voldemort, that has become a minor problem. He has gained some weight... He behaves as if everything is normal. And it is. Almost...

Voldemort, my husband dearest, looks like he has been hit by the Inflatus Jinx. Not that a Deatheater with their wits in control, would dare to jinx him. Or live to joke about it! Well. Except me, of course. But I must confess that I'm guiltless. This time.

An allergic reaction may be? It has to be something serious. And no! It's not the idiot, Black! But if I can convince my dear husband that wizards are allergic to muggle beverages, then... I'll have a little private party, while I clear out the cursed soft drink. But he won't listen at all!

Yesterday Tuesday, our lovely and vicious daughter, gave him a candy from the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. She said that it might help against some of the problems he has. Oh, my devious child! I'm so proud! The combination whiskers and snake eyes were quite adorable. And add pointy ears and a tail. He looked like a fat cat on a mat.

The only clothes that fits is his robes. But just so. He looks like a badly wrapped sausage. Or more as the oaf Hagrid in one of Dumbledore horrible dresses. Shudder! The images! That would give the most hard core and toughest Deatheater nights of unspeakable horrors. Except Bella, of course. I have to put up a shield when the buttons come flying in lightning's speed. None of the Deatheaters dare to say or do anything when the buttons hit them. It was quite entertaining when Lucius got one right between the eyes on our last meeting.

I think I will ask Severus. My dear potion master will surly help him out. But probably I have to bribe with something. Or maybe I should just hint that I know about the stash of daring muggle magasines under his bed? One can only hope that he gets sulky again.

Hmmm. Maybe sugar is the secret weapon The Dark Lord does not know? I think I will keep that bit of information for myself.

...


End file.
